To Be Human
by Pyre the Pyro
Summary: On the full moon, Jo learns a secret of Akaira's. In the early hours they discuss the pros and cons of being human. Jo tells Akaira something that she fervently denied but in her heart, she can't help but wonder if Jo's right


**To Be Human**

It was a slow night at the Roadhouse. There had been few hunters come through and no fights. To Jo, this was a relief. She had a bad feeling that had lingered around her like a dark cloud. It felt as if she was forgetting something important but couldn't remember what.

As she struggled to think of what she could possibly be forgetting, a familiar red cloak flickered in her peripheral vision. It was Akaira, heading swiftly towards the room she had claimed as her own. Her actions confused Jo. Well, her **lack **of action did. She always stopped to mutter a brief hello, no matter how big the hurry. Now she didn't spare her a glance?

Troubled, Jo followed her half angel sister, just to get a door slammed in her face. Jumping back before it hit her, Jo stared at the now closed and locked door in shock. Akaira had never done **that **to her. Sure, she's slammed plenty of doors in Ellen's face, but never _**Jo's**_.

Worried, Jo knocked on the door.

"Kai? Are you alright?" She called worriedly.

"Go away, Jo." She could hear the strangely moody teen mutter from the other side of the door.

"No, not until you tell me what's wrong." Jo replied stubbornly.

"Then you're going to be there a while." The younger girl snapped defiantly.

Jo's eyes widened at the harsh tone she had heard a lot, growing up, but never had been the reciever of before. She gave the door a lingering look before sighing. She started to leave until she heard her sister's quiet request.

"Jo? Please don't go..." The weakness in her voice surprised Jo.

"Can I come in?" Jo asked softly.

There was no audible reply but Jo could almost see Akaira shake her head, despite knowing Jo couldn't see. Jo debated it for a moment before pulling out a bobby pin. She then proceeded to pick the lock. When she walked in the room, she was surprised by what she saw.

Every entrance was sealed with salt. There were also anti demon seals over every entrance, essentially demon-proofing the room. The windows and door had iron borders, effectively keeping ghosts and other spirits out. There was also a humidifier plugged into the wall, and based on the other anti-supernatural protection, Jo assumed it was filled with holy water. However, what surprised her the most about the room was the figure sitting on the bed, knees pulled to chest in the corner.

The girl there was Akaira, but it also wasn't. This girl had sable black hair, compared to Akaira's crimson red. Her eyes were also a deep violet instead of the deep garnet that Jo was accustomed to. However, Jo knew by the cloak and the scar going across her face that this was indeed Akaira.

"Akaira...? What happened to you...?" She asked quietly, not sure of what to think of the transformation.

"... Shut the door, Jo." Was her only reply, obviously avoiding the question.

Jo let out a sigh and shut the door. She walked over and sat across from her on the bed. They sat there for a long time in silence. Seconds turned into minutes. Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into the whole night. During this time, Akaira didn't speak nor sleep and neither did Jo.

It was shortly before dawn when Akaira finally spoke.

"I never sleep when I'm like this. Not without him being there." She said quietly, as if speaking more to herself than to her sister.

"What's going on? Akaira, what's wrong with you?" Jo asked worriedly.

Akaira let out a bitter laugh. "If you asked _**mother, **_she'd say there wasn't anything wrong with me. She'd say there was _**finally **__**nothing **_wrong with me."

Jo gave her an odd look, not quite understanding her words.

"You don't get it? _**I'm human, Jo.**_"

Jo's eyes widened in shock at the words that came tumbling past the younger girl's lips.

_Human... She was human?_

The thought flickered through Jo's mind before a better one took it's place.

"How?" She asked hesitantly.

Akaira was silent before speaking.

"Every halfling has a night where they turn completely human. Mine is the full moon."

Jo's eyes widened in surprise. She had never known that.

"Since when have you...?" Her voice trailed off.

"Since I was born. It's not something I like to advertise. I have a lot of enemies." Akaira muttered.

Jo stared slightly. She couldn't believe she didn't know this. Even after making the deal, she didn't know about her sister's biggest, what she clearly considered it to be, weakness? How could she not know about it?

"Akaira, why didn't you tell me?" She asked softly.

"I just said I don't like to advertise it." Akaira mumbled with a twinge of guilt in her voice.

"Akaira, you know I'm not your enemy." She chastised her younger sister gently.

"No, you may not be but they surround me on all sides, Jo. Even here, anyone else who knows who I am is an enemy in my eyes." She looked away as if her words were a confession.

Jo's eyes softened as she confirmed one of her suspicions. She pulled her sister into a hug and felt her tense slightly.

"Relax. You know I'd never hurt you. You're acting so strangely." She assured her while questioning her odd behavior.

Akaira was silent before quietly replying, "When I'm like this, I'm overwhelmed with strong human emotions, ones I normally don't feel."

Jo's eyes widened in surprise at the confession. She hadn't thought about it, but it made sense that she'd have the emotions she typically lacked as a Nephilem.

"There's nothing wrong with having emotions. It's what makes you human." She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth.

"I don't want to be human. I hate being _**half**_ human. I hate the emotions that come with it. The worry, the fear, the sorrow, _**the utter weakness**_. There's plenty wrong with being human. Every thing that defines a person as being human is what's wrong with being human." The girl in her arms growled, worrying Jo that she'd pull away but she couldn't let what she said go.

"So you think there's something wrong with having a heart?" She retorted.

"Hearts get ripped out and eaten by werewolves. People speak of the human heart as if it were a tangible thing. If I ripped your chest open, would I find it? What if I cracked your skull open? Would I see it there?" She mused darkly.

Jo stared at the suddenly morbid girl before she noticed her hair lightening to red and blue hues leaving her eyes. She was finally going back to normal.

"No, you wouldn't. That's not where the heart is." She answered softly.

"Oh? Then where is it?" She asked darkly.

"It's where the most display of emotions is." Her statement caused the Nephilem to raise an eyebrow.

Jo gently brushed the hair out of her face before replying, "The heart is in the hand."

Akaira looked away, her only response was a simple, "Keh..."

Jo sighed before continuing.

"What you said about humanity is right. However, humanity's greatest weakness is also it's greatest strength. It's also _**your**_ greatest strength."

Akaira looked back over at her, unable to believe her ears. _Humanity's greatest weakness is her greatest strength? Is she high? _She wondered.

"What you consider your greatest weakness is actually your greatest strength. It's your bleeding heart." Jo told her.

Akaira scoffed. "Bleeding heart? I don't have a bleeding heart. I'm a psychopath, completely incapable of feeling compassion."

"That's what you say. That's what you think. That's what you say as a lie without realizing you're lying. The truth beneath the rose is that your heart bleeds for those who suffer things they don't deserve."

Akaira looked away before muttering, "Believe what you want."

Jo smiled slightly. "I know what you do for spirits. That can only be described as compassion."

Akaira didn't respond.

Jo sighed before ruffling her hair, earning her a growl at the "hair abuse".

"Do you know who the only person who truly knows what it is to be human is?" Jo asked after a moment's silence.

Akaira raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

Jo smiled at her before answering. "The only one who knows what it feels to be human and not to be at the same time. You."

**(An: To anyone who reads these: you may not have noticed but recently the genres of my stories have been all over the place. That's because I'm currently going through a manic phase so this is just the official warning that I might have a humor story one day (Intelligent Conversation) and then an angst (To Be Human) the next. Just a warning. I'll try to let you know when it's over~ ^-^ ... Actually, I'm not sure if mine actually ends... -_- I guess I'll have to wait to find out! Bye Bye! ;p )**


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